......*peeks up from hiding place to see if firing squad is all gone* I know, I KNOW I've been a terrible blogger and I really have no excuses. All I can give you is that I just haven't had the writing "bug" lately. There are plenty of things I've wanted to share but no motivation to put the effort into recording them; and I certainly don't want to force a mundane/boring story to be funny just for the sake of entertainment. Wait a minute.....
...that's what this blog kinda is.
But you catch my drift. Being a #pplpleaser4lyfe and someone who intentionally keeps a full schedule, its easy for passions to turn into automatic tasks, especially when you start to get burnt out. Well, it took stress-induced heart palpitations and a 24-hr heart monitor for me to realize how benefical returning to those passions (in the midst of hectic days and weeks) can be. "Finding balance in the chaos", if you want to be zen about it. I make myself busy as a bee because, as my Mother can attest to, I live in fear of being bored. But I'm also someone who finds value in reflecting, thinking, observing, and yes-blogging about it. Is it that I really don't have time for these quiet moments, or do I, in my people pleasing way, prioritize other tasks that seem to contribute more to, I don't know, the world or something. (Sorry, commas). I see it as a shame when people push aside things that feed their soul, and I don't want to fall victim to this again in 2015. Am I making any sense? No? Alright. Well why don't I tell you some of my New Years Resolutions that I've been implementing to simplify and de-stressify (psh, yeah right).
1. Cook more chicken.
I'm actually not kidding about this one and yes, its number 1 for a reason. I. hate. making. chicken. Everything about it. But because I don't want my kids to grow up malnourished, I figure now's the time to start.
2. Clean my make-up brushes more regularly (self-explanatory).
3. Get back into the practice of reading before bed.
Back in the day, I used to literally look forward to coming home from the evening's activities to stay up as late as I could reading myself to sleep. Its one of my favorite things to do but again, has gotten lost in the day to day shuffle. I want to be strict with myself to put down the phone and the laptop, and return to my favorite way to end my day.
4. Keep in touch with relatives/friends over a REAL LIFE PHONE CALL.
You all know I a pretty easy conversationalist and I love nothing more than to hear updates from the lives of those around me. But something about talking over the phone weirds me out and I can't explain it. I feel like things never come out right and I get too easily distracted. So yeah, this is a big one.
5. Look people in the eye when I'm telling them somethingimportant/deep/personal/serious/whatever.
Another weird social quirk of mine. As much as I love to talk I have a nervous habit of talking with my hands (sorry, this one's not gonna change), and what feels like spastic-ally moving my eyes all about. I'm fine in small talk, but if I'm sharing something personal its initimidating to look into someone's eyes as you're sharing it! Just me?
6. Patience. Patience. Patience.
And more patience.
There you have it. Are you yay or nay on New Years Resolutions? While I definitely think people can place too much pressure on their unrealistic goals, I do find the beginning of the year as a time to pause, and think back on the things you've learned and ways you want to grow. Its so important to know yourself people!! Gosh what is this, the Oprah Winfrey show? I guess I'm just feeling introspective, deal with it.
As for the future of this blog, I sense some change on the horizon--hopefully good! I just need to put more thought into it so I'll keep all of you posted. I'm excited for more creative juices to flow this year and hey, you might even find some of my writing writing here every now and then! Guess you'll have to stay tuned :)
